Leadership Lessons from the Potty: Chocolate, Chaos, and a Toddler's Hustle

We’re 72 hours into potty training my almost 3-year-old, and let me tell you, it’s been a journey. We approached it like seasoned project managers: set clear goals, establish incentives, and assume success within a tight deadline.

“Three days. We’ve got this.”

Turns out, potty training is just like running an Agile project. Lots of “sprinting” to the bathroom followed by a “standup.” Rinse and repeat, literally. My toddler is the product owner, and there is no clear definition of done.

The plan looked simple

On the surface, it seemed straightforward enough. No need for requirements gathering or user feedback. We followed a tried-and-true system: sit on the potty, then potty, then get chocolate. Simple, right?

Nay.

My daughter quickly turned this into her own hustle. She sits, smiles, and says, “I did it!” whether or not the potty saw any action. At this point, I’m not training her to use the bathroom; I’m training her to negotiate incentives better than a sales team closing end-of-quarter deals.

I upped the reward ante with “makeup,” but alas, no change. Classic project behavior: start with lofty goals, realize your timeline is wildly unrealistic, and end up winging it just to survive.

It’s a game of hope vs. reality, and chocolate is the only constant. You know you’re in the trenches of parenting when chocolate becomes both the incentive and the coping mechanism.

Lean on your team

My wife and I are running this like a two-person scrum. She’s the scrum master, keeping things on track and managing our “stakeholder’s” rapidly changing priorities.

I’m the dev team, responsible for delivering under pressure and cleaning up every “production bug” (read: accident). Meanwhile, our dog sits in the corner like that one coworker who’s always at stand-up but never contributes, watching the chaos unfold with a very strong “you are overcomplicating this” face.

You need the team to talk you off that ledge, confirm that you are, in fact, not crazy, and provide the support you need. Or someone to go on that much-needed beer run.

The goal is not to avoid messes. The goal is to guide people through them.

The lesson beneath the mess

If you follow my articles, I have a red-thread theme that all projects at work and in life have assumptions, risks, rewards, and opportunities to improve. This one is no different because falling into the “this is easy” trap happens at a subconscious level. When we see a concept as straightforward, we assume the execution will be too. But as soon as you get started, the variables, details, and unexpected challenges make themselves known.

Whether it’s potty training, launching a product, or guiding a team, assumptions can lead to stress, missed expectations, and plenty of clean-up work. The difference comes in how you approach it with your team and your leaders.

I try to acknowledge from the start that you don’t know what you don’t know. It helps create space for curiosity, learning, and adaptability. Often, I am the one who says “this is not going to happen” in a rather abrupt and terse (not rude) way. People struggle to accept why things are the way they are because they, too, assume it should be another way.

For me, one of the most rewarding parts of leadership is rolling up my sleeves to tackle challenges while helping others navigate their own journeys. As a genuinely empathetic leader, the goal isn’t to avoid messes. It’s to guide people through them, ensuring that progress happens and everyone grows along the way.

Potty training has been a crash course in this. Every small win reminds me that success isn’t about having a flawless plan; it’s about staying present, supporting your “team” (in this case, my wife and daughter), and rolling with the punches when things go off script. Consistency is key.

The same applies in the workplace. Being a people leader is about more than delivering results; it’s about enabling those around you to succeed, even when the path gets messy. The win isn’t for me or my wife, but for my daughter—she is my stakeholder. Whether you’re managing a toddler or a team, the key is to focus on progress, keep a sense of humor, and remember that every setback is a chance to move closer to your goals.

Got any potty training tips? I am still listening.

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